Britney Spears Feared Lobotomy, Hospital Staffer Says

The following italicized article is from www.thespoof.com:

More details about Britney Spears' breakdown earlier this month have been leaked, this time from an anonymous source inside a hospital that featured in the pop star's dramatic story.

The anonymous source -- Miss Julia Summers of 30177 Oak Lane Rd in Los Angeles -- works in the emergency room of Cedars-Sinai Medical Center where Spears was taken the night of her breakdown.

"When it came time to fill out the paperwork Britney got confused," the source said. "The admitting form asked for Britney's name, address, date of birth, and sex. For 'Sex' she was supposed to circle 'M' for male or 'F' for female, but she wrote in 'Twice yesterday' instead."

When asked for a urine and stool sample, the source said that Britney quickly provided the urine sample, but managed to disappear for two hours before returning with a wooden stool from a nightclub she frequently visits.

"Britney was afraid that doctors would perform a lobotomy on her," the source continued. "Hospital staff told her that this was extremely unlikely, as there would not be enough brain material to remove."

The frustrated hospital staff finally tasered the pop star and pumped her full of drugs. It was then that Dr. Phil McGraw arrived on the scene and took charge, the source said, securing both Britney's release from the hospital and his television show's ratings. Dr. Phil believes that Britney suffers from cyclothymia, a chronic mood disorder in which short periods of mild depression are followed by long periods of publicity and notoriety.

Source: The Spoof