Papa Spears -- If You Hurt Britney, I Hurt You

The following italicized article is from www.tmz.com:

Britney Spears' dad claims allegations that he battered Sam Lutfi last year are completely bogus -- because Jamie Spears believes he had a legal right to beat his ass if he wanted to ... but Jamie is coy about whether he actually did it.

In legal papers filed today, Jamie is very careful to not admit he punched Lutfi in the chest at Brit's house last year -- as Lutfi suggested in a recent lawsuit. However, Jamie says the law allows him to open a can of whoop ass if the situation calls for it -- and according to the docs, the Lutfi situation called for it.

Jamie claims "he was provoked" by Lutfi and was "privileged to use force in and about the matter complained."

He adds, "Any necessary force may be used to protect from wrongful injury the person or property of oneself, or a wife, husband, child, parent or other relative or member of one's family."

Source: TMZ

Go Jamie! Go Jamie! Go Jamie!

Britney's Jury of Her Peers -- Ding Dang

The following italicized article is from www.tmz.com:

The lawyer who tried to torpedo the Britney Spears conservatorship has just filed legal papers, contesting the restraining order issued against him and asking for a new trial ... this time by jury.

Jon Eardley, along with Sam Lutfi and Adnan Ghalib, are bound by restraining orders after the conservators convinced a judge they were harassing Britney and her family.

Now Eardley says a jury should have made that decision and wants a new trial.

We're guessin' anyone who doesn't drink Fanta is out of the jury box.

Source: TMZ

Midler Urges Spears To Take Las Vegas

The following italicized article is from www.contactmusic.com:

BETTE MIDLER is urging BRITNEY SPEARS to follow in her footsteps and headline a Las Vegas residency.

Midler kicked off her own Sin City set, The Showgirl Must Go On, this year (09), replacing Celine Dion at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace.

Spears, currently making her pop comeback with a world tour, has been tipped for her own Vegas show - and Midler is convinced she has what it takes, provided she avoids the party temptations the city has on offer.

Offering Spears some advice in an interview with the NYPost.com's PopWrap blog, Midler says, "Don't drink, keep your body up, do your vocal warm-ups every day and be happy to see the people. They're not a burden, they're happy to see you, be happy to see them."

Source: Contact Music

Smoking Hot, Britney!

Check out this exclusive glimpse of Britney Spears thoroughly enjoying a cigarette in the seclusion of her car on Wednesday.

Source: X17 Video

Britney Spears 'Wants To Be A Teacher'?

The following italicized article is from www.angryape.com:

According to her cousin, Britney Spears has often revealed that she would love "to do something normal", such as becoming a school teacher.

Alli Sims, who grew up with Britney and worked as an assistant to Spears in 2007, says that star would often speak of doing something less public, and had even considered quitting her career in music to work with children.

"Britney would always say, 'Maybe I just want to be a teacher," Sims told Reveal magazine. "'I just want to do something on a normal level. I've been something big for so long.'"

Britney famously suffered a breakdown last year, following a divorce, the loss of custody of her two sons, and constant hounding from the paparazzi.

Source: Angry Ape

I wouldn't mind detention with Britney...